Archivi categoria: English jokes

Put some gravy

 

(The Ronettes “Be my baby” cover)

Lyrics by Riccardo Piroddi

 

Looking forward the day I
came to your house,

cause you told me come to me, boy, I will bake a grouse.
So you have spent all morning,
plucking the bird,  adorning
the dish you put in the oven
with the grouse for me.

So will you please (put some, put some gravy)
a tiny bit, please (add some, add some gravy)
say you will put it (dress with, with some gravy)
the grouse is too dray (put some, put some gravy)
wha-oh-oh-oh.

My uncle said to me once
when you bake a grouse

cover it with streaky bacon
it will be its spouse.

The fat will melt on top then,
no dressing all around, man,
but she didn’t’ have the bacon and just poured some olive oil.

So will you please (put some, put some gravy)
a tiny bit, please (add some, add some gravy)
say you will put it (dress with, with some gravy)
the grouse is too dray (put some, put some gravy)
wha-oh-oh-oh.

So will you please (put some, put some gravy)
a tiny bit, please (add some, add some gravy)
say you will put it (dress with, with some gravy)
the grouse is too dray (put some, put some gravy)
wha-oh-oh-oh.

Put some, put some gravy (I beg you, please)
add some, add some gravy (a tiny bit, please)
dress with, with some gravy (the grouse is too dry)
wha-oh-oh-oh.
(Repeat and fade)

 

 

               

I left my heart in your lap under a starry sky along the Thames (now give it back to me!)

 

Lyrics by Riccardo Piroddi

 

When I fell in love with you
the grey clouds turned blue,
a dog barked to the moon,
and around was muggy as noon.

On the next day met your sister
and I thought she was a mister,
she was chubby like a bubble
and I said her, it’s time for a double.

I left my heart in your lap
under a starry sky along the Thames,
now give it back to me,
give it back to me.

One week later it was raining,
it was going on my training,
thinking of you got on a train
but it didn’t stop my pain.

I left my heart in your lap
under a starry sky along the Thames,
now give it back to me,
give it back to me.

Then I saw you two once more
my smelly oysters on the shore
my love was rotting, I can’t deny
cause you’re like two seaweeds dried.

I started wandering about the pearls
my two countess with no earls,
silky skin like horseradish
scented breath like drunken Irish.

I left my heart in your lap
under a starry sky along the Thames,
now give it back to me,
give it back to me.

I left my heart in your lap
under a starry sky along the Thames,
now give it back to me,
give it back to me.

In the end what can you do?
Don’t forget your sister too
and bin my heart along with you!

               

The bone of swine broth

 

(The Beatles “The long and winding road” cover)

Lyrics by Riccardo Piroddi

 

The bone of swine broth
that I had the night before,
do not ever digest
I still have it in me,
please leave me, dear broth,
let me go to bog.

You were so hot and bright
swallowin’ you was a fight,
a little piece of bone
got stuck in my teeth,
why did you do it to me
I’ve got spasms, you see.

Parsley overgrown,
potatoes as big as scone,
spicy, what a moan!
I felt like broken stone,
but kept on having you
till I run to the loo,
and nothing out of here
my tummy seems a sphere.
I’m sitting, waitin’ mmmh,
waitin’ in the bog.

But kept on having you
till I run to loo,
and nothing out of here
my tummy like a sphere.
I’m struggling, waitin’ mmmh,
waitin’ in the bog.

 

 

               

I wanna fudge you

 

Lyrics by Riccardo Piroddi

 

My everlasting dream
in a can of creamy cream
I wanna fudge you.

Sweet butter and chocolate,
sugar and gleam,
I wanna fudge you.

Tender caramel, soft steam,
lickable drop of supreme,
I wanna fudge you.

I wanna fudge you
when you come in and go out,
when you come up and get down.
So, get down now and let me fudge you.
I wanna fudge you.
I wanna fudge you.
I wanna fudge you.

When I bite you,
I wanna fudge you.
While I’m tasting you,
I wanna fudge you.
When I spread you,
I wanna fudge you.

I wanna fudge you
when you come in and go out,
when you come up and get down.
So, get down now and let me fudge you.
I wanna fudge you.
I wanna fudge you.
I wanna fudge you.